by Fung Lan Yong, Honorary Advisor
IPB Pine Academy Sabah
July 7, 2014
Part 1
Fill in the blanks with the simple present tense of the verb.
A popular greeting card (1) _________ (attribute)
this quote to Henry David Thoreau: "Happiness (2) ___________ (be) like a
butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you (3)
___________ (turn) your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly
on your shoulder." With all due respect to the author of Walden,
that just isn't so, according to a growing number of psychologists. You can choose to be happy, they (4)
_________ (say). You can chase down that elusive butterfly and get it to sit on
your shoulder, in part, by simply making the effort to monitor the workings of
your mind.
Research has shown that your talent for happiness (5)
__________ (be), to a large degree, determined by your genes. Psychology
professor David T. Lykken, author of Happiness: Its Nature and Nurture, (6)
__________ (say) that "trying to be happier is like trying to be
taller." We each (7) ___________ (to have) a "happiness set
point," he (8) __________ (argue), and move away from it only slightly.
And yet, psychologists who (9) _________ (study) happiness
(10) _________ (believe) that we can pursue happiness. We can do this by
thwarting negative emotions such as pessimism, resentment, and anger. And we
can foster positive emotions, such as empathy, serenity, and especially
gratitude.
Happiness Strategy
# 1: Don't Worry, Choose Happy
The first step, however, (11) __________ (be) to make a conscious choice to boost your
happiness. In his book, The Conquest of Happiness, published in 1930,
the philosopher Bertrand Russell had this to say: "Happiness is not,
except in very rare cases, something that (12) __________ (drop) into the
mouth, like a ripe fruit. ... Happiness must be, for most men and women, an
achievement rather than a gift of the gods, and in this achievement, effort,
both inward and outward, must play a great part."
Today, psychologists who study happiness heartily (13)
_________ (agree). The intention to be happy (14) __________ (be) the first of The
Nine Choices of Happy People listed by authors Rick Foster and Greg Hicks
in their book of the same name. "Intention
is the active desire and commitment to be happy," they (15) __________ (write).
"It's the decision to consciously choose attitudes and behaviors that (16)
__________ (lead) to happiness over unhappiness."
Tom G. Stevens, PhD, titled his book with the bold
assertion, You Can Choose to Be Happy. "Choose to make happiness a
top goal," Stevens (17) __________ (state). "Choose to take advantage
of opportunities to learn how to be happy. For example, reprogram your beliefs
and values. Learn good self-management skills, good interpersonal skills, and
good career-related skills. Choose to be in environments and around people that
(18) ___________ (increase) your probability of happiness. The persons who (19)
___________ (become) the happiest and (20) ___________ grow the most (21)
___________ (be) those who also (22) ____________ (make) truth and their own
personal growth primary values." In short, we may be born with a happiness
set point, as Lykken (23) _________ (call) it, but we (24) ____________ (be)
not stuck there. Happiness also (24) ___________ (depend) on how we (25)
__________ (manage) our emotions and our relationships with others.
Jon Haidt, author of The Happiness Hypothesis,
(26) _________ (teach) positive
psychology. He actually (27) __________
(assign) his students to make themselves happier during the semester. "They (28) __________ (to have) to say
exactly what technique they will use," (29) ___________ (maintain) Haidt, a professor at the
University of Virginia, in Charlottesville. "They may choose to be more
forgiving or more grateful. They may learn to identify negative thoughts so
they can challenge them. For example, when someone (30) ___________ (cross)
you, in your mind you (31) __________ (build) a case against that person, but
that's very damaging to relationships. So they may learn to shut up their inner
lawyer and (32) __________ (stop) building these cases against people." Once
you have decided to be happier, you can choose strategies for achieving
happiness.
In his book, Authentic Happiness, University
of Pennsylvania psychologist Martin Seligman (33) ___________ (encourage) readers to perform a daily
"gratitude exercise." It (34) ___________ (involve) listing a few things that make them
grateful. This (35) ___________ (shift) people away from bitterness and
despair, he (26) __________ (comment), and (27) ___________ (promote) happiness.
Holding a grudge and nursing grievances can affect
physical as well as mental health, according to a rapidly growing body of research.
One way to curtail these kinds of feelings is to foster forgiveness. This (28)
___________ (reduce) the power of bad events to create bitterness and
resentment, (29) ___________ (reveal)
Michael McCullough and Robert Emmons, happiness researchers who edited The
Psychology of Happiness.
In his book, Five Steps to Forgiveness,
clinical psychologist Everett Worthington Jr. (30) ____________ (offer) a
5-step process he (31) _________ (call) REACH. First, recall the hurt. Then empathize
and try to understand the act from the perpetrator's point of view. Be altruistic by recalling a time in your
life when you were forgiven. Commit
to putting your forgiveness into words. You can do this either in a letter to
the person you're forgiving or in your journal. Finally, try to hold on to the forgiveness. Don't
dwell on your anger, hurt, and desire for vengeance.
The alternative to forgiveness is mulling over a
transgression. This (32) _________ (be) a form of chronic stress, (33)
___________ (stress) Worthington. "Rumination
(34) ___________ (be) the mental health bad boy," Worthington (35)
___________ (state). "It's
associated with almost everything bad in the mental health field --
obsessive-compulsive disorder, depression, anxiety -- probably hives, too."
As Jon Haidt (36) ___________ (put) it, improve
your mental hygiene. In The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt (37)
____________ (compare) the mind to a man
riding an elephant. The elephant (38) _____________ (represent) the powerful thoughts and
feelings -- mostly unconscious -- that (39) ___________ (drive) your behavior.
The man, although much weaker, can exert control over the elephant, just as you
can exert control over negative thoughts and feelings.
"The key (40) __________ (be) a commitment to
doing the things necessary to retrain the elephant," Haidt (41)
___________ (reiterate). "And the
evidence (42) _________ (suggest) there's a lot you can do. It just (43)
__________ (take) work." For
example, you can practice meditation, rhythmic breathing, yoga, or relaxation
techniques to quell anxiety and promote serenity. You can learn to recognize
and challenge thoughts you have about being inadequate and helpless. "If
you (44) __________ (learn) techniques for identifying negative thoughts, then
it's easier to challenge them," Haidt said.
Research (45) __________ (show) that once income (46)
_________ (climb) above the poverty level, more money (47) __________ (bring) very little extra happiness. Yet,
"we (48) __________ (keep) assuming that because things aren't bringing us
happiness, they're the wrong things, rather than recognizing that the pursuit
itself (49) _________ (be) futile," (50) ___________ (write) Daniel
Gilbert in his book, Stumbling on Happiness. "Regardless of what we
(51) __________ (achieve) in the pursuit of stuff, it's never going to bring
about an enduring state of happiness."
There (52) __________ (be) few better antidotes to
unhappiness than close friendships with people who (53) __________ (care) about
you, (54) __________ (indicate) David G. Myers, author of The Pursuit of
Happiness. One Australian study found that people over 70 who had the
strongest network of friends lived much longer. "Sadly, our increasingly
individualistic society (55) ___________ (suffer) from impoverished social
connections, which some psychologists (56) ____________ (believe) is a cause of
today's epidemic levels of depression," Myers (57) __________ (write).
"The social ties that (58) ___________ (bind) also (59) ___________ (provide)
support in difficult times."
People (60) __________
(be) seldom happier, (61) __________ (reveal) psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi,
than when they're in the flow. This (62) ___________ (be) a state in which your
mind (63) ___________ (become) thoroughly absorbed in a meaningful task that (64)
____________ (challenge) your abilities. Yet, he has found that the most common
leisure time activity -- watching TV – (65) __________ (produce) some of the
lowest levels of happiness. To get more out of life, we (66) __________
(need) to put more into it, says Csikszentmihalyi. "Active leisure that (67)
__________ (help) a person grow does not come easily," he (68) ___________
(exlaborate) in Finding Flow. "Each of the flow-producing
activities (69) ____________ (require) an initial investment of attention
before it (70) ____________ (begin) to be enjoyable." So it (71) ___________ (turn) out that happiness can
be a matter of choice -- not just luck. Some people (72) ___________ (be) lucky enough to possess genes that (73)
__________ (foster) happiness. However, certain thought patterns and
interpersonal skills definitely (74) __________ (help) people become an epicure
of experience," (76) ___________ (explain) David Lykken, whose name, in
Norwegian, (78) ____________ (mean) "the happiness."
Bibliographical
details
Title:
Strategies for happiness: seven steps to becoming a happier person
Author: Tom Valeo (2014)
Link:
http://www.webmd.com/balance/guide/choosing-to-be-happy
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